...just contemplating LIFE
This title has a double meaning because of course I’ve been contemplating Life, as in the life I live. (Or rather, I’ve just been trying to keep up with it.) But, I’m also working mainly with the LIFE Project right now (LIFE stands for Living In Family Environments). We always joke that we have so many acronyms in this ministry that we might as well be the military. Let me just give you a few: We got our AMs working over the CLLs, who manage the LCFs and the LCAs. Clear as mud. Right?
On to similarly uninteresting and just as menial things:
I have to make a confession. Sometimes I really struggle with the things that I’m not. It’s like I have this picture in my head of everything that a good woman or a good mother does. And there are so many of those things that I can’t even begin to comprehend doing. For example:
I’m not a gardener. I have never had any use for planting flowers or growing things. When I was a kid, we used to plant tomato plants and flowers and things every spring. So, I know how to do it. My mom loves that stuff. I’ve never had any use for it. I mean, I appreciate it. I love having a garden. I love fresh veggies and lovely flowers. I just can never seem to get the motivation to learn the names of plants and actually plant any in my places of residence.
I’m not a sewer. Again, my mom is a brilliant seamstress. I never learned. I think I burned up a sewing machine or two in home ec class. I mean, I can sew on a button or fix a seam. But, when it comes to sewing machines, I’m basically worthless.
I’m not an athlete. Sure, I occasionally like to do yoga and tai-bo and such. I may even go for a (painfully slow) run every once in awhile. But I’m not the athlete that my dad and two brothers are. Nope. Not at all. I think I sometimes surprise people when it turns out I am actually slightly more athletically capable than they expected me to be. This is probably because I have grown up around athletes my whole life and then married one. I pretty much know all the rules and theory and may have actually learned a few things by osmosis. But, I hate being hurt and I hate knocking into people. This pretty much rules out every sport I’ve ever played.
I’m not a shopper. Lord help me, I don’t like to shop. Not for clothes. Not for home décor. Not for electronic equipment. Rarely even for Christmas presents. However, I love shopping for food. Let me loose in a Whole Foods or a Farmer’s Market and watch me go. Everything else, I can do without.
I’m not a scrapbooker. My best friend, Jenn, tried to get me into scrapbooking while we were home over the holidays. She’s so diligent and encouraging that I was almost converted, just so that I could spend more time with her. But that’s my only motivation. Time with my best friend. Left to my own devices, my children will have their childhoods chronicled in approximately 100 pictures from birth until graduation. Probably 85 of those pictures will be random artistic shots of obscure moments and forgotten memories. Only 15 will be from events that actually needed to be documented. I still only have about 2 of my wedding pictures printed and framed. ‘Nuff said.
I’m not a motorcycle rider. This has come up recently because Jake rides his motorbike a lot and it would be nice if I had the guts to learn and go with him. He tried to teach me last year. I almost ran into the side of the building. Now, he’s glad that I don’t want to learn because he’d rather me be in one piece. (Somewhere, my dad is reading this and thinking the same thing.) Anyway, riding a motorcycle kind of just increases that possibility of getting hurt and knocking into stuff. Two things I don’t like to do.
So anyway, I’m not a lot of things. Not a gardener, or sewer, or athlete, or shopper, or scrapbooker. These are things that people DO. For FUN. Why don’t I really enjoy any of them? I mean, okay, if you invite me to go shopping with you, I’ll probably go. But because it’s with you. And because there’s a chance that we may run into a Barnes and Noble and a coffee shop.
For some reason, I really struggle when I’m not everything. Do you do that too? Does it bother you when you can’t say that you fall into a group of people who seem to have it together enough to plant a garden, crochet a scarf, run a 5K, find a great deal, and document it all in a beautifully scalloped edge scrapbook? It bothers me. I know, right. Get over it.
So, as I’m hitting my “mid-twenties” (GASP!) I’m realizing that I need to just be okay with who I am and what I like to do. To actually be grateful for who God made me to be and to “boast in my weaknesses.” And stop worrying about who I’m not and trying to make myself like things just because other people like them. Here’s what I do like:
I love to make music. Any kind of music. I like to make music with Sunda. I like to make music in Zambian church. I like to sing to Jesus alone in the car. I love to stand in a 200 person choir and sing the “Hallelujah Chorus.”
I love to teach. Anything. And not just formally. Don’t know how to make a grilled cheese sandwich? It is the delight of my heart to break it down into manageable steps for you. I know. I’m a complete nerd. I’m especially great at butting in to teach things where it’s completely unnecessary for me to teach them. People can learn things on their own. In fact, people were doing it for generations before I was even born. I’m getting better at keeping my mouth shut.
I love to read. The Bible. Fiction. History books. Children’s books. Ridiculous magazines. The back of shampoo bottles. Encyclopedias. It’s ridiculous. Reading is like a drug for me. When I settle down and really start reading, I feel this amazing sense of calm come over me. My absolute favorite thing to do is to be near anyone I love and read a book. In one sitting. (They don’t have to be reading a book for this to work, as Jacob will tell you. He often watches soccer, rugby, or 24 as I read. I count it as quality time. I don’t know if it really does count.) I love to read so much that when people say, “Yeah, I’m not a big book person.” I honestly think, “Really? Then what do you do to relax?” Well, Jessi…probably any one of the above activities that you are absolutely unskilled in.
I love to talk. A big surprise to most of you, right? Hahaha. I’ve been kind of dreading everyone coming back to the base and it getting really busy here. Not because I don’t like the people being around, but rather because I just get so distracted by so many people to talk to. I find myself getting less done. Getting Sunda in bed later. Now, if I could only figure out how to talk and read at the same time…oh wait…I think that’s why I also like to write.
Thanks for reading my nonsense (if anyone out there still does, being that I tend to disappear for months at a time.)
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
Out of the tent...into a House!
This is basically a post so people can see some pics of our house and Sunda jumping on her new trampoline!
Enjoy...
Our Home!
Sunda's Room! Small, but perfect...
Bathroom
Enjoy...
Our Home!
Sunda's Room! Small, but perfect...
Bathroom
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
A Novel of Life as of Recent
Wow… It has been entirely too long since my last blog entry.
So much has happened in the past few weeks that I hope I can recount the events in proper fashion.
I’ll take us back to over two weeks ago when Jessi, Sunda and I loaded up the Toyota Landcruiser (a fellow missionary friend’s vehicle) and started off for Nyawa for the weekend. It had been raining steadily for several days prior so we knew that the roads were going to be rough. The trip takes me about 2 hours 30 minutes on the dirt bike from our base so we allotted 5 hours in the vehicle because of how slow you have to take the choppy roads.
Our estimate was nearly correct.
There were a few spots on the way there that we had to put into practice the “rocking” technique (you put the truck in first then reverse and continue that until you rock yourself out of the muddy area). Other than that, we had an enjoyable trip to Nyawa. Jessi managed to get a few great shots of the truck in its prime.
I played with this pic and added the text...thought it summed up our commitment to the neglected. I had a good time driving!
We had an excellent weekend of ministry. Jessi and I both spent some time teaching in the church during various times over the weekend. Of course, Sunda kept everyone entertained when we weren’t conducting our meetings. Just before we had sat down for a lunch we noticed that Sunda was leading a bunch of kids into the church building. We followed the crowd to find that she was organizing her own church service. “Ok, you sit down…I’m going to preach,” she told the kids who were all older than her. She went on to tell them “Jesus loves you” and she sang them a few songs to which they all stared in awe… It was priceless.
Above is a pic of Jessi and Sunda carrying water after pumping it out of the borehole.
We tried to get out into one of the more remote areas for an evening service and got stuck for over an hour in thick mud. After getting the truck out of that jam, we decided to turn back. I had some of the guys in a nearby village help me by laying branches over the muddy area so we could ride over it without getting stuck again. The only problem was that I didn’t notice the man who threw part of a tree trunk in the mud instead of a branch…never a good thing. So, naturally, when I sped over the branched area I hit the stump which shot into the side of my tire and whoosh…goodbye, tire.
It was a sidewall puncture so there was no use in patching it. We put the spare on and made it the rest of the way back to our Nyawa base. The next morning we had a great Sunday service where several people committed their lives to Christ for the first time. We said our goodbyes and left in order to get home before nightfall.
The road was basically the same as when we had arrived so we remembered which areas to maneuver around and managed to stay un-stuck for the majority of the trip back.
We were just one kilometer away from getting onto the main road and one large mud puddle away from being finished with “mud bogging” when disaster struck. A large water spot that we had easily plowed through on the way to Nyawa stopped us dead in our tracks and left the bed of the truck filling with water. We had water coming into the driver side door and no amount of rocking helped. We were truly stuck.
Several villagers came within the first 20 minutes, but no amount of pushing helped. We finally had to restort to calling the Overland base and having Arthur (the owner of the truck) and Jeff (another missionary with a Land Rover) come and pull us out of the hole.
We came to find out that the night before, two large coal trucks got stuck in the same spot and made the hole extremely deep, which is why we made it through no problem the day before and got stuck this day.
Arthur and Jeff arrived and after using a Hi-Lift jack to prop up the four corners of the truck, we put lots of rocks and rubber mats under the wheels and then pulled the truck out of the ditch with the help of the Land Rover and a chain. All of this took nearly 5 hours.
Needless to say, we were all ready for a good night sleep when we arrived at the base past midnight.
The next "blog-able" event happened just the next day. I was asked to rush into town in order to pick up a fan belt for one of our trucks because it was broke down in a nearby village and the shops were about to close for the day (you don't want to leave your trucks anywhere overnight because of theft). I threw my helmet on and made way for town. At one of the tougher spots, I geared down to 2nd and let the dirt bike crawl down some large rocks that lead to a small stream. As I was crawling over the rocks, a wingless wasp (we know them in the states as cow ants) crawled onto my hand and stung me...OUCH! I instinctively threw my hand off of the handlebars and at the same time came off of a large rock. The handlebars shot to the right and I went hurtling over the bike. A few rolls and umphs later I came to a stop and did a quick inventory. I had busted my hand open and my arm was scraped up, but there were no major problems. I jerked up the bike (now quite frustrated) and made it the rest of the way into town in time to pick up our spare and get our vehicle out of the village.
The next day I jumped on my dirt bike and left for Nyawa again to continue my Tuesday teachings that have been occuring over the last month (and will be occuring for the next several months). The trip took just about 2 and a half hours (mostly off-road), but I didn't get hung up in the mud like the truck did (oh, the joy of being able to use the footpaths). We had a great time of teaching and then arranged to have an evening meal in one of the nearby villages. The people were so excited to have me because I was the first white person to share a meal with them in their village. They had been preparing some meat for me over the last few days (they leave it out to dry for a few days, boil it and then serve it like jerky). The only problem is that they must not have boiled it long enough because I woke up very early in the bush the next morning feeling very, very sick. It is not fun to be sick out in the bush.
After realizing that this was not going away any time soon, I chose to leave earlier than planned that morning and I started off on the long journey back to the base on the bike. That was a long bike ride! I finally got the mess out of my system a week later.
After that crazy week, we decided to take a relaxing weekend with our friends, the Combrink's. It was a wonderful weekend. We kicked back, enjoyed the company of our friends, and Sunda enjoyed her best friends Michael and Kent. She is starting to get brave in the pool these days...
The following week I made my weekly trip to Nyawa and was excited to see that it hadn't rained the past week so the large, muddy areas were finally drying. We had an excellent time of ministry and teaching, but as the meeting ended the storm clouds rolled in. We quickly visited a few villages, prayed for the sick and I looked at their water situations. Here is a very typical situation for the Nyawa chiefdom.
This is what the people of two villages drink out of (along with their cattle and any other animal that wants to). It is full of disease. They need a borehole.
This particular village was so excited that I was coming, they literally built a shelter for me to sit under as they corporately denounced Satan and agreed to give their lives to Jesus Christ. Can you imagine 20 families dancing as you arrive for the first time at a village and seeing all of them standing together and publicly denouncing the devil and offering their lives to Christ. It was amazing. We shared a meal together (no meat this time!), I preached to them about God's great love and desire for wholehearted followers, and we headed back to Pastor Sweyn's house.
I decided that I was not going to spend the night and instead I left at about 7 pm to try and beat the coming storm. That decision turned into one of the longest nights of my life! The ride in the dark didn't bother me because I had done that before, but it was a bit tougher on the bush roads at night. After about 15 km's into the trip, I noticed that my front wheel was a bit flat so I stopped the bike and used a hand pump with a CO2 cartridge to bring the pressure up. I started off again and made it to Zimba, where the road gradually gets better until you hit Lusaka Rd. (the main paved road). There is another 15 km's of dirt road before you hit the paved road, but it is much smoother and easy to ride on. I was about half way on that dirt road when my bike tire began to feel strange. I pulled over to find that it was completely flat. A quick inspection of the tire showed that a large nail had found my wheel and penetrated through both sides of the tube. I pulled all of my patch kit and tools out from my tool bag that I carry and went to work at pulling the tire off of the room (a job that is not easy or fun at 10pm with little light and no assistance). Using my kick stand, I propped the bike and pulled the tube out. It was a badly damaged, but I managed to patch the holes with three patches. Next, I went to fill the tube with air to see if the patches were working and the valve came completely off of the tube. Now I was in big trouble. When your valve tears off, you need to just pitch the tube because there is no use. My only problem was that I had no other options. So I forced the valve back in the tube, opened up a nut at the bottom of the valve and I forced the rubber between the base of the valve and the nut. I tightened everything, laid hands on the tube and prayed for God to seal everything. Next I put air in the tube and to my astonishment, the tube grew large...it was holding air! I worked the tube back into the tire and fit the tire back onto the rim. I was good to go.
I made it to Livingstone at 1 am and stopped to get a drink and some food at the 24 hour diesel station (this is a new 24 hour service...hallelujah!) I arrived at the base past 2am and collapsed on my bed...I couldn't believe I had made it back.
The next day I woke up late and worked on the bike all day. We were planning on leaving at 3am the next morning to drive to Zambia's capitol, Lusaka, where I was going to purchase a trampoline for Sunda. We made that trip without any issues and Sunda has not stopped bouncing since!
Phew, I'm out of breath just typing this thing. I know it isn't told as wonderfully as my wife can tell a story, but it does give you a good picture into what life is literally like around the clock here in Zambia as sector managers.
I'll work on getting you all a pic of Sunda bouncing on the trampoline.
Love you guys...
jake
So much has happened in the past few weeks that I hope I can recount the events in proper fashion.
I’ll take us back to over two weeks ago when Jessi, Sunda and I loaded up the Toyota Landcruiser (a fellow missionary friend’s vehicle) and started off for Nyawa for the weekend. It had been raining steadily for several days prior so we knew that the roads were going to be rough. The trip takes me about 2 hours 30 minutes on the dirt bike from our base so we allotted 5 hours in the vehicle because of how slow you have to take the choppy roads.
Our estimate was nearly correct.
There were a few spots on the way there that we had to put into practice the “rocking” technique (you put the truck in first then reverse and continue that until you rock yourself out of the muddy area). Other than that, we had an enjoyable trip to Nyawa. Jessi managed to get a few great shots of the truck in its prime.
I played with this pic and added the text...thought it summed up our commitment to the neglected. I had a good time driving!
We had an excellent weekend of ministry. Jessi and I both spent some time teaching in the church during various times over the weekend. Of course, Sunda kept everyone entertained when we weren’t conducting our meetings. Just before we had sat down for a lunch we noticed that Sunda was leading a bunch of kids into the church building. We followed the crowd to find that she was organizing her own church service. “Ok, you sit down…I’m going to preach,” she told the kids who were all older than her. She went on to tell them “Jesus loves you” and she sang them a few songs to which they all stared in awe… It was priceless.
Above is a pic of Jessi and Sunda carrying water after pumping it out of the borehole.
We tried to get out into one of the more remote areas for an evening service and got stuck for over an hour in thick mud. After getting the truck out of that jam, we decided to turn back. I had some of the guys in a nearby village help me by laying branches over the muddy area so we could ride over it without getting stuck again. The only problem was that I didn’t notice the man who threw part of a tree trunk in the mud instead of a branch…never a good thing. So, naturally, when I sped over the branched area I hit the stump which shot into the side of my tire and whoosh…goodbye, tire.
It was a sidewall puncture so there was no use in patching it. We put the spare on and made it the rest of the way back to our Nyawa base. The next morning we had a great Sunday service where several people committed their lives to Christ for the first time. We said our goodbyes and left in order to get home before nightfall.
The road was basically the same as when we had arrived so we remembered which areas to maneuver around and managed to stay un-stuck for the majority of the trip back.
We were just one kilometer away from getting onto the main road and one large mud puddle away from being finished with “mud bogging” when disaster struck. A large water spot that we had easily plowed through on the way to Nyawa stopped us dead in our tracks and left the bed of the truck filling with water. We had water coming into the driver side door and no amount of rocking helped. We were truly stuck.
Several villagers came within the first 20 minutes, but no amount of pushing helped. We finally had to restort to calling the Overland base and having Arthur (the owner of the truck) and Jeff (another missionary with a Land Rover) come and pull us out of the hole.
We came to find out that the night before, two large coal trucks got stuck in the same spot and made the hole extremely deep, which is why we made it through no problem the day before and got stuck this day.
Arthur and Jeff arrived and after using a Hi-Lift jack to prop up the four corners of the truck, we put lots of rocks and rubber mats under the wheels and then pulled the truck out of the ditch with the help of the Land Rover and a chain. All of this took nearly 5 hours.
Needless to say, we were all ready for a good night sleep when we arrived at the base past midnight.
The next "blog-able" event happened just the next day. I was asked to rush into town in order to pick up a fan belt for one of our trucks because it was broke down in a nearby village and the shops were about to close for the day (you don't want to leave your trucks anywhere overnight because of theft). I threw my helmet on and made way for town. At one of the tougher spots, I geared down to 2nd and let the dirt bike crawl down some large rocks that lead to a small stream. As I was crawling over the rocks, a wingless wasp (we know them in the states as cow ants) crawled onto my hand and stung me...OUCH! I instinctively threw my hand off of the handlebars and at the same time came off of a large rock. The handlebars shot to the right and I went hurtling over the bike. A few rolls and umphs later I came to a stop and did a quick inventory. I had busted my hand open and my arm was scraped up, but there were no major problems. I jerked up the bike (now quite frustrated) and made it the rest of the way into town in time to pick up our spare and get our vehicle out of the village.
The next day I jumped on my dirt bike and left for Nyawa again to continue my Tuesday teachings that have been occuring over the last month (and will be occuring for the next several months). The trip took just about 2 and a half hours (mostly off-road), but I didn't get hung up in the mud like the truck did (oh, the joy of being able to use the footpaths). We had a great time of teaching and then arranged to have an evening meal in one of the nearby villages. The people were so excited to have me because I was the first white person to share a meal with them in their village. They had been preparing some meat for me over the last few days (they leave it out to dry for a few days, boil it and then serve it like jerky). The only problem is that they must not have boiled it long enough because I woke up very early in the bush the next morning feeling very, very sick. It is not fun to be sick out in the bush.
After realizing that this was not going away any time soon, I chose to leave earlier than planned that morning and I started off on the long journey back to the base on the bike. That was a long bike ride! I finally got the mess out of my system a week later.
After that crazy week, we decided to take a relaxing weekend with our friends, the Combrink's. It was a wonderful weekend. We kicked back, enjoyed the company of our friends, and Sunda enjoyed her best friends Michael and Kent. She is starting to get brave in the pool these days...
The following week I made my weekly trip to Nyawa and was excited to see that it hadn't rained the past week so the large, muddy areas were finally drying. We had an excellent time of ministry and teaching, but as the meeting ended the storm clouds rolled in. We quickly visited a few villages, prayed for the sick and I looked at their water situations. Here is a very typical situation for the Nyawa chiefdom.
This is what the people of two villages drink out of (along with their cattle and any other animal that wants to). It is full of disease. They need a borehole.
This particular village was so excited that I was coming, they literally built a shelter for me to sit under as they corporately denounced Satan and agreed to give their lives to Jesus Christ. Can you imagine 20 families dancing as you arrive for the first time at a village and seeing all of them standing together and publicly denouncing the devil and offering their lives to Christ. It was amazing. We shared a meal together (no meat this time!), I preached to them about God's great love and desire for wholehearted followers, and we headed back to Pastor Sweyn's house.
I decided that I was not going to spend the night and instead I left at about 7 pm to try and beat the coming storm. That decision turned into one of the longest nights of my life! The ride in the dark didn't bother me because I had done that before, but it was a bit tougher on the bush roads at night. After about 15 km's into the trip, I noticed that my front wheel was a bit flat so I stopped the bike and used a hand pump with a CO2 cartridge to bring the pressure up. I started off again and made it to Zimba, where the road gradually gets better until you hit Lusaka Rd. (the main paved road). There is another 15 km's of dirt road before you hit the paved road, but it is much smoother and easy to ride on. I was about half way on that dirt road when my bike tire began to feel strange. I pulled over to find that it was completely flat. A quick inspection of the tire showed that a large nail had found my wheel and penetrated through both sides of the tube. I pulled all of my patch kit and tools out from my tool bag that I carry and went to work at pulling the tire off of the room (a job that is not easy or fun at 10pm with little light and no assistance). Using my kick stand, I propped the bike and pulled the tube out. It was a badly damaged, but I managed to patch the holes with three patches. Next, I went to fill the tube with air to see if the patches were working and the valve came completely off of the tube. Now I was in big trouble. When your valve tears off, you need to just pitch the tube because there is no use. My only problem was that I had no other options. So I forced the valve back in the tube, opened up a nut at the bottom of the valve and I forced the rubber between the base of the valve and the nut. I tightened everything, laid hands on the tube and prayed for God to seal everything. Next I put air in the tube and to my astonishment, the tube grew large...it was holding air! I worked the tube back into the tire and fit the tire back onto the rim. I was good to go.
I made it to Livingstone at 1 am and stopped to get a drink and some food at the 24 hour diesel station (this is a new 24 hour service...hallelujah!) I arrived at the base past 2am and collapsed on my bed...I couldn't believe I had made it back.
The next day I woke up late and worked on the bike all day. We were planning on leaving at 3am the next morning to drive to Zambia's capitol, Lusaka, where I was going to purchase a trampoline for Sunda. We made that trip without any issues and Sunda has not stopped bouncing since!
Phew, I'm out of breath just typing this thing. I know it isn't told as wonderfully as my wife can tell a story, but it does give you a good picture into what life is literally like around the clock here in Zambia as sector managers.
I'll work on getting you all a pic of Sunda bouncing on the trampoline.
Love you guys...
jake
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Day 10-An Accomplishment!
Okay, this is honest. And open. Even for me. And I'm feeling a little venerable and exposed. But still really wanting to share. Please don't judge...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel like I should have something earth-shattering to tell you on my tenth day of blogging/journaling about the adjustment that I felt in coming back to Zambia this year. But I really don't. I do know that today, my self-proclaimed day of being "fully adjusted", I had a harder day than many of the past ten. It wasn't because of bugs or water shortages, but rather due to simple "job stress" that tends to occur when you take on more than you're sure you can complete effectively. Does it sound silly and far-fetched to you that someone who is living in a foreign country and ministering the Gospel as a career has job stress? I think that, three years ago, it would have sounded far-fetched to me. After all, we begin our days with worship music and start and end every meeting with prayer. We trust God for money and don't have to worry about a raise or much job competition. This should be a cake walk, filled with people speaking encouraging words to each other and making decisions effortlessly. There should be a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day. "Today, I have HELPED people." Right? Riiigggghhhtttt.
My mom had a phrase she always used when I was young. (Have I shared this before? Sorry for repetition.) Anyway, being an ER nurse, my mom tends to deal with emergencies quite well. And every time I would come home from school, work, voice lessons, play practice...etc. with a DRAMA that I just couldn't see the way out of, my mom would look at me and be all like, "Jessi, you're not saving lives at Brooke High School." Or, "Jessi, you're not saving lives at Krogers." Get it? Meaning...chill out. Forgetting to load a bag of groceries into someone's car did not prevent them from taking in oxygen and surviving. It just wasn't that big a deal.
Sometimes this is hard for me to keep in perspective. Because I feel like it's one thing to give money to an organization doing good things for the under-privelaged people of the world, and to feel a sense of satisfaction. And it's one thing to come here on a short trip and proclaim that "the beauty of the African people changed me way more than I ever could have changed them." And to really feel like you did make an impact. But I feel like there's such a responsibility when you're the one here making the promises to follow through to completion the things that we say we're gonna do, when we're gonna do them. And when we don't, we don't just disappoint ourselves, we let down people who have been let down by people and circumstances for their entire lives. It's just difficult to comfort myself with my mom's standard phrase, "You're not saving lives..." Because, what if I am? Not to mention the saving of souls, what if I could have saved the lives of the 10 kids in Mukuni who died from malaria this rainy season? What if it was as simple as going around with malaria tablets and showing people how to use them? What if...a million times over. Every project is not mine to complete. And nothing is mine to complete anyway. Especially if I'm gonna do them using the "footpumps of Egypt." Meaning that we'll get nothing done laboring in the flesh...
So, believe it or not, it is a stressful job. A rewarding job? Yes. Many times not like work at all? Yes. And no, I do not for one second feel like I'm making some sort of unfair or unneccesary sacrifice. And I never forget the fact that there are people working jobs they DON'T enjoy and sending money to Jake and I to be here. We live in appreciation of that. In the Kingdom, no job is more important than the other. It's not like the missionaries get up to heaven and are told, "Hey, you get first bid for the master suite since you slept with bugs for 20 years." Other people experience way more stress in their jobs and don't get to experience any thanks at all. But there's a lot of responsibility that comes along with privilage. And just when I think I'm adjusted...it hits me.
I woke up yesterday and looked at myself in the mirror. It took me 4 months in the States, as well as lots of lotion and hot showers, to reverse the effects that Africa had on my face last year. It took 10 days to undo it. I look like I'm 24 going on 44 again.
I feel like in some ways I spent 10 days complaining about Africa. You know those old women who complain about their husbands with a gleam in their eye? That's how my heart feels about Zambia. I love these people so much it brings me to tears. I LOVE the culture, the music, the dancing, the food, the language. I am so blessed to be a steward of this cause. How did this ever happen to me...this opportunity? Why is it that I get the privelage of being the one worrying about how to feed the widow instead of how to make my house payment? I will never be able to express how much I feel that we are truly living the dream...
And after living this dream, I'll never be the same again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I feel like I should have something earth-shattering to tell you on my tenth day of blogging/journaling about the adjustment that I felt in coming back to Zambia this year. But I really don't. I do know that today, my self-proclaimed day of being "fully adjusted", I had a harder day than many of the past ten. It wasn't because of bugs or water shortages, but rather due to simple "job stress" that tends to occur when you take on more than you're sure you can complete effectively. Does it sound silly and far-fetched to you that someone who is living in a foreign country and ministering the Gospel as a career has job stress? I think that, three years ago, it would have sounded far-fetched to me. After all, we begin our days with worship music and start and end every meeting with prayer. We trust God for money and don't have to worry about a raise or much job competition. This should be a cake walk, filled with people speaking encouraging words to each other and making decisions effortlessly. There should be a feeling of satisfaction at the end of the day. "Today, I have HELPED people." Right? Riiigggghhhtttt.
My mom had a phrase she always used when I was young. (Have I shared this before? Sorry for repetition.) Anyway, being an ER nurse, my mom tends to deal with emergencies quite well. And every time I would come home from school, work, voice lessons, play practice...etc. with a DRAMA that I just couldn't see the way out of, my mom would look at me and be all like, "Jessi, you're not saving lives at Brooke High School." Or, "Jessi, you're not saving lives at Krogers." Get it? Meaning...chill out. Forgetting to load a bag of groceries into someone's car did not prevent them from taking in oxygen and surviving. It just wasn't that big a deal.
Sometimes this is hard for me to keep in perspective. Because I feel like it's one thing to give money to an organization doing good things for the under-privelaged people of the world, and to feel a sense of satisfaction. And it's one thing to come here on a short trip and proclaim that "the beauty of the African people changed me way more than I ever could have changed them." And to really feel like you did make an impact. But I feel like there's such a responsibility when you're the one here making the promises to follow through to completion the things that we say we're gonna do, when we're gonna do them. And when we don't, we don't just disappoint ourselves, we let down people who have been let down by people and circumstances for their entire lives. It's just difficult to comfort myself with my mom's standard phrase, "You're not saving lives..." Because, what if I am? Not to mention the saving of souls, what if I could have saved the lives of the 10 kids in Mukuni who died from malaria this rainy season? What if it was as simple as going around with malaria tablets and showing people how to use them? What if...a million times over. Every project is not mine to complete. And nothing is mine to complete anyway. Especially if I'm gonna do them using the "footpumps of Egypt." Meaning that we'll get nothing done laboring in the flesh...
So, believe it or not, it is a stressful job. A rewarding job? Yes. Many times not like work at all? Yes. And no, I do not for one second feel like I'm making some sort of unfair or unneccesary sacrifice. And I never forget the fact that there are people working jobs they DON'T enjoy and sending money to Jake and I to be here. We live in appreciation of that. In the Kingdom, no job is more important than the other. It's not like the missionaries get up to heaven and are told, "Hey, you get first bid for the master suite since you slept with bugs for 20 years." Other people experience way more stress in their jobs and don't get to experience any thanks at all. But there's a lot of responsibility that comes along with privilage. And just when I think I'm adjusted...it hits me.
I woke up yesterday and looked at myself in the mirror. It took me 4 months in the States, as well as lots of lotion and hot showers, to reverse the effects that Africa had on my face last year. It took 10 days to undo it. I look like I'm 24 going on 44 again.
I feel like in some ways I spent 10 days complaining about Africa. You know those old women who complain about their husbands with a gleam in their eye? That's how my heart feels about Zambia. I love these people so much it brings me to tears. I LOVE the culture, the music, the dancing, the food, the language. I am so blessed to be a steward of this cause. How did this ever happen to me...this opportunity? Why is it that I get the privelage of being the one worrying about how to feed the widow instead of how to make my house payment? I will never be able to express how much I feel that we are truly living the dream...
And after living this dream, I'll never be the same again.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Bush Beginnings
We are finally back out into the beautiful Zambian bush! I took off Monday morning at 9 a.m. on the dirt bike and drove out to Nyawa which is roughly a 3 hour drive covering 150 kilometers (in a vehicle this drive takes nearly 6 hours because of the extremely difficult terrain.)
I wasn't sure what to expect for this first trip after spending a significant amount of time in Nyawa last year, specifically with a pastor named Sweyn. I arrived around lunch time to find Sweyn and his family sitting down for a meal. As is customary to wonderful Zambian hospitality, they cheerfully asked me to join them and we sat down to a nice meal of nshima and rape. After eating we began to discuss how things were going over the past four months that we had been gone and I was left absolutely amazed at what Sweyn has accomplished.
I selected Sweyn to be a CLL "Community Life Leader" last year under the LIFE Project which is one of our initiatives that targets widows, orphans and the neglected. Our goal through the LIFE Project is to see every widow, orphan and elderly individual taken care of through their communities by empowering them with education, training and above all, the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sweyn is a crucial component in that he has been chosen to oversee all of the work taking place in a 5 village spread. Not only does his work involve seeing that no one is neglected, but he also carries the important task of seeing that the word of God is proclaimed through these villages and that those who have a desire to be disciples of Jesus Christ get the opportunity to do so.
Sweyn presented me with a comprehensive list of every member (man, woman and child) of the five villages including which ones were widows, single orphans and double orphans (which helps us to determine which initiatives need to take place in each community). He also was pleased to tell me that he has been discipling 10 individuals (2 from each village) and that those individuals were leading 2 Bible Studies a week in their villages. Within an hour of arriving at his home, word had spread and there were 20 adults waiting outside to hear if I was going to share the word of God with them. As we were getting ready to start the service, a man passed through that Sweyn flagged down and after a short conversation we found that the man was headed to a "professional witch doctor" in Zimba. This man had been sick for three years and said that he had been to clinics, hospitals, and witch doctors with no change. We asked him to stay with us and began to share God's word with him about God's authority over sickness and also about God's plans for this man to have a future full of hope. The man,Charles, literally broke down in tears because he was so tired of this physical ailment and he pleaded with us to pray over him. Sweyn and I spent some time praying and afterwards he looked up with a smile and said that all the pain had gone except some pain in his shoulder. We prayed again and Charles testified that all the pain had gone. He immediately grabbed his wife and said that he wanted his family to commit their lives wholly to God. We prayed with them and then headed straight to the church to meet with the eager villagers.
The meeting turned out great as they all showed a lot of excitement that I would be coming every Monday, spending the night and departing on Tuesday afternoons. We decided that each Monday we will hold two meetings where we will be teaching the word of God and then on Tuesdays we will go out in teams to the different villages and visit homes, pray for the sick and preach the word of God.
Now I understand that this may sound like a bunch of numbers and hodge podge, but it is thrilling to see the effects of empowering faithful men and women in our sector to carry the light of the gospel. Our vision is to see this very thing happen over a spread of roughly 800 villages (Masokatwane and Nyawa). I believe with all of my heart that this is the ONLY way to impact a nation. It's more than putting just food in a person's stomach, which we will be doing...it's ushering them into an unbreakable hope. No drought, famine or disaster can take this fact from them...they are loved by God and have been chosen before time began to glorify God and enjoy Him forever! This is our portion in life.
This Scripture hit me the other day and has totally transformed the confidence I have day to day:
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. (2Cor. 2:14)
I love this Scripture because it is a promise. I don't have to doubt whether or not I will spread the fragrance of the knowledge of Christ...this passage tells me that in Christ I am ALWAYS led in triumphal procession and I am ALWAYS spreading the knowledge of Christ to the earth.
We MUST live with faith. We must live with a confidence that is rooted in the word of God. Let me ask you. Do you expect to always be lead in triumphal procession in your day to day activities? You cannot lose with Jesus. Do you realize that you are spreading the fragrance of the knowledge of Christ in your work place, at the grocery store, around your family, at your school? Let us thank God this day for giving us promises that cannot be thwarted by any thing on, above or below this earth. The only thing that can keep us from these promises is unbelief. Let us stir up our faith today and build the kingdom of God on this earth.
Please be praying for Sweyn and the ministry taking place in Nyawa. I am going to begin a series on "Bush Survival" and take you guys through some of the "survival skills and tools" that I've learned to use over the last couple of years here in Zambia. (i promise lots of pics on the next blog...)
We love you all. Keep praying for us. Please let us know how we can be praying for you.
jake
I wasn't sure what to expect for this first trip after spending a significant amount of time in Nyawa last year, specifically with a pastor named Sweyn. I arrived around lunch time to find Sweyn and his family sitting down for a meal. As is customary to wonderful Zambian hospitality, they cheerfully asked me to join them and we sat down to a nice meal of nshima and rape. After eating we began to discuss how things were going over the past four months that we had been gone and I was left absolutely amazed at what Sweyn has accomplished.
I selected Sweyn to be a CLL "Community Life Leader" last year under the LIFE Project which is one of our initiatives that targets widows, orphans and the neglected. Our goal through the LIFE Project is to see every widow, orphan and elderly individual taken care of through their communities by empowering them with education, training and above all, the gospel of Jesus Christ. Sweyn is a crucial component in that he has been chosen to oversee all of the work taking place in a 5 village spread. Not only does his work involve seeing that no one is neglected, but he also carries the important task of seeing that the word of God is proclaimed through these villages and that those who have a desire to be disciples of Jesus Christ get the opportunity to do so.
Sweyn presented me with a comprehensive list of every member (man, woman and child) of the five villages including which ones were widows, single orphans and double orphans (which helps us to determine which initiatives need to take place in each community). He also was pleased to tell me that he has been discipling 10 individuals (2 from each village) and that those individuals were leading 2 Bible Studies a week in their villages. Within an hour of arriving at his home, word had spread and there were 20 adults waiting outside to hear if I was going to share the word of God with them. As we were getting ready to start the service, a man passed through that Sweyn flagged down and after a short conversation we found that the man was headed to a "professional witch doctor" in Zimba. This man had been sick for three years and said that he had been to clinics, hospitals, and witch doctors with no change. We asked him to stay with us and began to share God's word with him about God's authority over sickness and also about God's plans for this man to have a future full of hope. The man,Charles, literally broke down in tears because he was so tired of this physical ailment and he pleaded with us to pray over him. Sweyn and I spent some time praying and afterwards he looked up with a smile and said that all the pain had gone except some pain in his shoulder. We prayed again and Charles testified that all the pain had gone. He immediately grabbed his wife and said that he wanted his family to commit their lives wholly to God. We prayed with them and then headed straight to the church to meet with the eager villagers.
The meeting turned out great as they all showed a lot of excitement that I would be coming every Monday, spending the night and departing on Tuesday afternoons. We decided that each Monday we will hold two meetings where we will be teaching the word of God and then on Tuesdays we will go out in teams to the different villages and visit homes, pray for the sick and preach the word of God.
Now I understand that this may sound like a bunch of numbers and hodge podge, but it is thrilling to see the effects of empowering faithful men and women in our sector to carry the light of the gospel. Our vision is to see this very thing happen over a spread of roughly 800 villages (Masokatwane and Nyawa). I believe with all of my heart that this is the ONLY way to impact a nation. It's more than putting just food in a person's stomach, which we will be doing...it's ushering them into an unbreakable hope. No drought, famine or disaster can take this fact from them...they are loved by God and have been chosen before time began to glorify God and enjoy Him forever! This is our portion in life.
This Scripture hit me the other day and has totally transformed the confidence I have day to day:
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. (2Cor. 2:14)
I love this Scripture because it is a promise. I don't have to doubt whether or not I will spread the fragrance of the knowledge of Christ...this passage tells me that in Christ I am ALWAYS led in triumphal procession and I am ALWAYS spreading the knowledge of Christ to the earth.
We MUST live with faith. We must live with a confidence that is rooted in the word of God. Let me ask you. Do you expect to always be lead in triumphal procession in your day to day activities? You cannot lose with Jesus. Do you realize that you are spreading the fragrance of the knowledge of Christ in your work place, at the grocery store, around your family, at your school? Let us thank God this day for giving us promises that cannot be thwarted by any thing on, above or below this earth. The only thing that can keep us from these promises is unbelief. Let us stir up our faith today and build the kingdom of God on this earth.
Please be praying for Sweyn and the ministry taking place in Nyawa. I am going to begin a series on "Bush Survival" and take you guys through some of the "survival skills and tools" that I've learned to use over the last couple of years here in Zambia. (i promise lots of pics on the next blog...)
We love you all. Keep praying for us. Please let us know how we can be praying for you.
jake
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