So, whether it's the fact that I'm pregnant, busy, tired of people, unbalanced, or just plain ol' mean: I have NOT been myself lately. I feel like I'm trying to teach lessons all over the show and make people understand their mistakes and why they're making them. All the while ignoring the things that I'm not doing in hopes no one will notice.
Maybe I haven't been walking around screaming at people. But in my head, I've been screaming. In my mind, I've been teaching lessons. In my thoughts, I've been judging people for the very things that I'm lacking in.
Quite a confession for a Friday morning. I know. The internet tends to listen pretty well. :)
So, I found a CD this morning (who listens to CDs anymore, right?) that I listened to constantly in college. (Beth and Jenn, you would recognize this RIGHT AWAY if you heard it...I probably tortured you with it for two years.) It struck me so sharply as I was working away at my computer.
Who gave you the right to judge me?
Did we not come from the same seed?
Was it you who gave the sea it's boundaries?
Is it your wrath that could expose me?
We are set apart by one thing only...unfailing love...and I accept it.
Those who thought they were sowing wheat will reap thorns. You've become rich and powerful, fat and sleek. You're gonna fall backwards.
God forbid that I ever become so "rich and powerful" in my knowledge and ideas of how things should be done on the mission field that I start to judge others and fall backwards.
Instead, let me not forsake my first love:
"Seeking Jesus, His steps I measure. My eyes on Jesus, no thoughts of turning. He's got me wasted, I'm drunk in love with You."
"Thinkin' of You"
I don't know if you've ever heard of Dr. Rodney Howard Browne. He's a pretty well known charismatic evangelist that is friends with our director Phil and the ministry. He came to visit the base this week and said (roughly) this about sharing the Gospel with people:
"We don't need discouraged people sharing the love of Christ. We don't need joyless, hopeless, pessimistic people sharing the love of Christ. We need joyful, free people. We need people who laugh and smile and who are not under a burden of religion."
How easy is it to get religious in our "service" for the kingdom. And how carefully we must guard against it!
Some old pictures:
Sunda when she was about 15 months old. Oh, how she has changed!
Me and the group of LIFE teachers that I work with and train on a regular basis.
Hope you have a lovely weekend!