Monday, December 14, 2009

Guess Who's Back!

I’m always just a little bit apprehensive when returning to Africa. What can I say? It IS my home now, but every time we come back I worry that I’ll have changed my mind, that it will be a struggle. Always, always, always, once we’re here I feel like I’ve been here my whole life and I put leaving as far from my mind as if it didn’t exist. But that first week is sometimes filled with homesickness, frustration, and even fear. Fear of the unknown. Of what I can’t control.

I can feel it changing every time. It’s just a bit easier every year. Our first year, I sobbed every night for the first two weeks. Our second year, I was despondent (very privately, of course) for about a week. Last year, it took me a few days to get over the huge spiders all over the place and the unidentifiable gnats in my bed. This year, I’m enjoying being in Jo-burg, but I jumped for joy when my midwife and OB jointly approved us to go back to Zambia for about 5 weeks over the holidays! Never before has Zambia looked so sweet! And all because I was threatened with not being able to go back. With being forced to be in a first world city for awhile longer. With being in the near vicinity of shopping malls and coffee shops and overall conveniences. NOOOOOOOO! Please let me go back to Zambia! To my friends! To my own bed! To my tiny chalet with no washing machine!

Funny how things change….

Thank you, Lord. It’s through you that our thoughts are changed. That our minds are changed. That our whole lives are changed.

4 comments:

Amanda Harms said...

Yay! Yay! Yay! I am sooo happy that you get to go home for the 5 weeks! I hope everything is going well and you feel good. Love you guys XO!!

Andrew Johnson said...

You should buy a tent at the mall and sleep in an abandoned lot. It's basically the same thing from what I hear. Just imagine the homeless people are lions.

Nene and Pappy said...

Hey guys! Hope we will get a PRE BABY blog before you head to joburg for the BIG EVENT!!! Praying for you always,
Nene and Pappy Norm

Prior said...

you were the next blog when I decided to hit next blog... What a treat. I will be praying for you. Lezlee In Texas my blog is trivial, just about decorating with junk, but being a retired Air Force wife I did learn to do with what I had. I can only imagine you've done the same and more.