Wife, Mother, and Hairstylist

I posted before about the drama involved with managing Sunda's hair. I mean, I rarely write about things like this...and never more than once. So, you know it's serious.

I have been stressing myself out about this hair since we've come home from Africa. I scoured the internet and didn't really find the answers I was looking for. I didn't need a guidebook...I needed a guru. So...

On Monday, I took her to a beauty shop that a friend at church recommended, and the wonderful stylist there showed me how to properly comb out, grease, and twist Sunda's hair into ponytails that will prevent the mess that her hair was when I walked into the place. When I expressed my immense gratitude for the help and advice, one of the white stylists said, "I thought it looked cute when they came in." The stylist that helped me said, "That wasn't cute...that was a MESS." Well. At least she called it like she saw it.

Needless to say, and to my shame...Sunda was a little less than well-behaved at the salon on Monday. And when I say a little less, I mean that she was kicking, scratching and screaming her way out of that chair. I was instructed by my wise hair sage that the right thing to do was just to teach her that she could not get her way out of getting her hair done. No way. No how. I will spare you the details of how you discipline a child who attempts to kick the hair stylist.

The simple and do-able style that I was taught on Monday has to be redone every couple of days, so today I embarked on my first challenge. A wide tooth comb. A tub of vaseline. A million rubber bands. And a sea of kinky black afro.

Guess what? I DID IT. The process wasn't pretty. And I pretty much didn't accomplish anything else all morning. She may have won a couple of battles in the whole process. But I definitely won the war. And when she started to act up I took care of it immediately. (It's amazing how a little hair pulling and a required 20 minutes of sitting still can transform a wonderfully easygoing, well-behaved child into a specimen fit for Nanny 911. I will never judge again.)

Bless her heart. She's learning. And so am I. You may wonder: "Why is she torturing that poor child? Can't she just cut it short and wait until she's older?" I assure you that speaking with anyone who shares my daughter's hair or skin color will convince you otherwise. It's important. For identity. For self-esteem. (Also, apparantly, for learning how to be a better Christian, as it takes MUCH PRAYER.) And I have promised myself that even though I have already spent more time grooming Sunda than I have spent on myself in the last 6 months, that I will do whatever it takes to make her LIFE, and the struggles that may come with it...easier. Because she deserves that.

Sunda is running a fever tonight and is not happy. So, sadly, no pictures for your enjoyment. Soon. As soon as my parts get straighter and I can get the barrettes to stay in. I'll be sure to remind her of this when she's eighteen, don't worry.

Maybe once I get really good I'll blog a whole SERIES about doing kinky hair. Probably not. But you'd read it...right? Yeah..right.

Important Request

Hey guys,

I have a really IMPORTANT request.

There are so many wonderful friends that have been commenting on our blogs that we don't have contact information for.

Can you email us your information so that we can get back to you????

Our email address, for everyone's purposes, is:

jakeandjessi@gmail.com

Thanks so much!

Take Me Home, Country Roads....

If you've grown up in the hills, you don't realize how much you miss them until you come back. On our way back from the D.C. airport, Jake and I were practically speechless as we realized how much we have missed the changing of the seasons, the endless fields of corn, and the rolling hills. Breathtaking. And everything looks so green compared to the desert wasteland that is Zambia this time of year!

We've been home since last Wednesday. A more joyful homecoming has never been seen! Sunda did fantastically and is already so attached to Jake's mom, "Nene", that I worry about tearing them apart in January. In our first 5 minutes in the house I burst into tears as I watched Sunda crawl around on the carpeted floor and open a new toy. It just seemed too comfortable to be true. A carpeted floor. A couch. A place where Sunda could play and not come back with stickers in her shorts and sand in her hair. The little things mean a lot sometimes.

It has been busy weekend and today Jake, Sunda, and I are just taking it easy. Nene and Pappy have gone to work today and Uncle Cody to school. Pretty soon Jake and I will be spending our days on the phone talking to supporters or driving around to meet with them. So, we're lounging in our jammies, amazed at how many channels are on TV,and periodically putting Sunda in a warm bath to play...just because she can!

I feel like I'm the one whom this transition is taking the hardest toll on. Sunda has adapted beautifully, as most kids tend to do. And Jake is so easygoing he just flows from place to place like there's no change at all. To me, I almost feel guilty being so comfortable. After 5 days of visiting, I feel like I should be doing something productive. I'm itching to be of use, somewhere. It's a different kind of busy here in America. A different kind of difficult. I can't really explain it right now.

All I know is that I had Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast, and there's a box of Velveeta Shells and Cheese waiting for lunch! Yum! (Don't judge me...I'm on vacation ;) )

The End of a Long Season!

Phew...I can hardly believe that I am five days away from getting on a plane WITH my wife and daughter to come home to our family and friends! Jessi and I were talking about it yesterday and saying how it is such an amazing moment to be in for two major reasons. The first, and most obvious reason, is that we can hardly wait to show off our little girl to all of you who have prayed and waited with us for this adoption to go through. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for all of the prayer and encouragement you gave to us through this journey. I know things came through because all of you were interceding on our behalf.

The second reason is because this is the first time we aren't excited to go home because we need a break from our ministry here in Zambia. We actually are thrilled about what we are doing and when the time comes in January I know we will be thrilled to get on that plane and dive back into what God has called us to do in Africa. It really is amazing to be doing something you love and that you know you are called to by God with your family. I thank God every day for this opportunity. I guess I am writing this because I want you guys to know that in the midst of the trials, in the midst of lack of water and lack of electricity and everything else that we deal with here...we are truly happy beyond belief. I am actually battling through the final stages of malaria as I write this and I honestly am willing to deal with these stupid mosquitoes if it means that I get to keep this joy in our work here.

The Bible tells us in Prov. 3:5 "Trust the Lord with all of your heart and LEAN NOT on your own understanding. Acknowledge God in all of your ways and He will make your paths straight."

Let us remember that when God leads us to do difficult things that we should not shrink back when the fiery trial comes at us. That is the very time for us to pull up our boot straps, run towards the storm and KNOW that God is holding our hearts and He will sustain us as He has called us.

We cannot wait to see you ALL when we get home on October 31st. We will be staying with my family (Norm and Jeannie) while we are home so if you need/want to get a hold of us you can call at (304)737-1415.

We love you all and will be seeing you soon.

Jake

Beginning Our Sector Work

So we have been finished with our Advanced Missions Training for a few weeks and already the excitement has begun with our sector work in Nyawa and Masukotwane Chiefdoms. The program we are focusing on implementing in the outlying villages right now is called the LIFE Project. It's function and purpose is to create a human network within the villages so that all of the other endeavors can work. We are making relationships with the chiefs, headmen, school teachers, clinical officers and other leaders in the area. Once we get their permission to operate in an area, we begin to visit the families and learn their particular needs. We take every opportunity to preach the Gospel, pray for the sick and teach the word of God. The Life Project exists to build leaders in every village so that no orphan, widow, HIV Positive individual or any other neglected individual has to be on their own. LIFE stands for Living in Family Environments and that is exactly what we are striving to maintain; family life.
After our large outreach in Masiye, I took a motorcycle trip out to visit the families and see how things were going and the six villages in that area have quite literally been turned upside down! Drunks have been challenged to quit drinking and get into church, communities are uniting and discussing how they can pioneer projects to help their at-risk individuals in their communities, men and women are rising up to lead these initiatives and the word of God is going forth in power! They even had a letter waiting for me when I got there that held the notes of a meeting where 90 people gathered together to discuss how they were going to begin different projects for the community. The most exciting part for us was that this all happened WHILE WE WERE GONE! That is the heart of this vision. That we can come in, spark a fire, and watch the community run with what God puts on their heart.
I just took another trip into a place called Nyawa and had an unbelievable chance meeting with Chief Nyawa himself. This man is the chief over 400-500 villages and is the most powerful man to be in contact with in that chiefdom. We spoke for nearly an hour at his home and he gave his full approval to our humanitarian projects and to our desire to spread the word of God. He offered us land to operate a base on and also offered to build Jessi and I a permanent home in his chiefdom so we can stay for longer periods of time. The exciting part about working in his chiefdom is that it is a vast area of scattered villages that are hugely unreached. He said that there is still a pride of lions that roam in his chiefdom!
We will be making a trip to Nyawa and Masiye again next week and at the beginning of September we will be doing a week long outreach and Chief Nyawa is going to spend some time accompanying us with the outreach. Having his stamp of approval on the LIFE Project is an immediate help because the villagers in any chiefdom highly respect their chief.
Please pray for these two areas. Pray that we have discernment to identify good, faithful men who can carry on the work as we go back and forth. Also pray that we would continue to choose the right areas to venture into as we begin our work in Nyawa. And, as many of you have been praying, continue to pray that our adoption is finished quickly so that we can purchase our plane tickets and hopefully be on our way home by the end of September.
We love you all and are looking forward to seeing you soon.

Jake